Wednesday: Love Letters
Do you remember how we first met? The intertwined connection of when two eyes locked and a memory became stored in our mind.
A study conducted by the scientists at the Riken-MIT Center for Neural Circuit Genetics stated that we make two copies of every event. One for the present moment and the second for the long term.
This simultaneous phenomena occurs in the brain's hippocampus and cortex. The hippocampus helps form the short term memory and the cortex aids the long term memory brain cells. Dr Amy Milton, who researches memory at Cambridge University, said the study was "beautiful, elegant and extremely impressive".
The study also found the long-term memory never developed if the connection between the hippocampus and the cortex was blocked - suggesting that over time, the balance of power shifts to the cortex. What governs the balancing power shifts between how our brain cells decide to hold on to certain memories?
The beautiful mind that decides to see and account for an event so memorable, a person that strikes a chord within you that you can't shake that person -- even if you wished to erase the memory.
A powerful example of this can be found in the film, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, with Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. The film paints vivid imageries of how we create and destroy ourselves within each other. The film displays the painful loss of a significant other through a futuristic process whereby you can erase your memories by a New York City firm, Lacuna Inc.
After a fight, Kate Winslet's character, Clementine commences the procedure to begin the erasure of the memories with Jim Carrey's character, Joel. Upon learning that Clementine has begun the process, Joel decides to do the same.
Yet, like any painful breakup there is residual feelings of love and memories that are left over. Joel inwardly fights like hell to keep the most precious memories he has of Clementine with him, as he reacts and races to keep Clementine stored in the deep parts of his subconsciousness.
One of the last memories he keeps of her, occurs when they are lying on ice as Joel comfortably says, "I could die right now Clem. I'm just happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be." As that moment slips away, the last scene approaches where Joel discovers where the day where they first met at a beach house in Montauk. Like a fading whisper against the mind's cortex, Clementine says, "Meet me in Montauk."
The film resumes to where it first started -- the present at the train station headed to Montauk. As former lovers, undiscovered and ignorantly blissful, the two strike up meaningful conversation on their way to Montauk, despite their distinct differences in personalities. There is a connection. A connection that goes beyond time and space, consciousness and the human heart.
Once they both discover their Lacuna records of having erased their collection of memories of one another, they are both shocked with disbelief and Clementine heads for the door. Joel tells her to wait as Clementine asks what does he want. As they lock eyes for a long moment, Clementine stone-faced eventually cracks up and breaks the silence. As she laments, "I'm not a concept, Joel. I'm just a fucked-up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. I'm not perfect."
Joel utters the words, "I can't think of anything I don't like about you right now". Clementine responds, "But you will. You will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me."
The next line comes from anyone who's eternal sunshine of their spotless mind sees no wrong in the one true person they love, "okay". They both can't help but laugh and we see the conclusion of the film.
A simple "okay" would suffice to end any argument, any situation in which you're willing to lay yourself down humbly and truthfully convey that you'd accept another person despite their flaws and who they are and what they are capable of and probably have already done.
Despite all their peccadillos and idiosyncrasies, the person you find yourself with simply makes you happy and is there for you. Even when you doubt yourself. A strong person accepts the weakness in others, and doesn't try to fix them but loves the person for who they are. The person you love could do no wrong in your eyes and in fact when you need someone to level with you the most, it's someone who you can look in their eyes for that deep long stare, similar to the moment when you first met and just capture a feeling.
These are the memories of true love that create the building bridges from our short term memories stored in the hippocampus all the way to the long term ends of our cortex. Those are the memories worth making two copies of, and when balanced just right... Create powerful moments that bring into being a bond worth fighting for.