Sunday Musings
Finding Peace
As another sip of amber goes down, I write thinking of the great changes that is given without notice to each individual that goes through this life. I met a clairvoyant man once that really messed my life up. I haven't spoken to him in awhile, but between you and I... I'm glad for it.
Sometimes people come into your life to show you a direct reflection of yourself and your capacities to love. Not only love the other person, but yourself included. This, I believe happens over and over again throughout one's existence.
Knowing the future or enough of your past will creep into your thoughts like a snake up your spine. If you don't turn around, soon enough it'll bite you along your vulnerable veins of the neck line. Luckily, I'm turning and finding out a lot about myself and the people around me. It's amazing what happens, when you can just shut the fuck up and listen.
Hear the people you call friends. Listen to those who you hold close to your heart. And know that all of this will eventually fade away. It's genuinely humbling and somber altogether. Usually when I do this, I'll compile a list of things I should do to help those around me. Then I lose myself along the process. I see that we first must help ourselves and in time we can help others. Everything becomes vanity if it is rushed or done in a forceful manner.
Let the silence echo across your room back into you and find time to reevaluate what it is your so hung up about. Can you actually do anything to change anyone's mind except your own? You are who you are, that is something worth working on. See what it is you'd like to improve upon throughout a day, and do it.
Leave the rabble tumble down towards chaos. The news will be new tomorrow and old the next day, as tragedies you can't fix will continue on. Focus on the nature of change like Heraclitus of Ephesus. See how the nature of change and flow ebbs back and forth like a river.
The peaks and troughs, pits and swirls, are all part of the ride. And like stepping into the river, we step out of it as different beings. The river changes and so do you, somewhere along the way we discover that the things that are going on today in your life won't be so for long.
So like Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) Find time to lose sight of daily trials, even if it is for just a moment. Breathe and see if you can let go of the things that are bothering you. Before you know it, if you do this often. You'll find your creativity. Your inner child saying hello (again).
You might catch your breath and realize the many ways in which you have known this beautiful life. When you meet yourself, you will know, in a flash, what now isn't given to you to know: why things had to be the way it was. Like a good friend said once, "our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts -- if we can keep them open to God -- will find their own intuitive way."
Today I consider myself pretty fortunate. I spent all day alone and couldn't help but actually feel free. It was liberating to be comfortable with myself again.
As each day progresses, I take another step towards my inevitable walk to new horizons, surprises that capture and fill up days. Before sunset, I'll walk outside and think of all the people I've ever loved and close my eyes.
I've crossed this sort of invisible line. A place where I could throw sparks and feel the excitement of life wildly jump back at me. These are the dreams that we wake up from. These are the moments of my youth. I can't tell you what tomorrow will bring.
And trust me I wouldn't want to ask the clairvoyant man either of his naked opinions. Because when everything is stripped bare of a person, there is no veil in which true beauty is yet to be revealed. Life is a true beauty, and yet the best is yet to come.
These bodies of ours, will continue as decaying organic matter that goes back to whence it came from. Yet, I can still still laugh and know that we're not meant to stay here long. As I rest my bones on this quiet night -- solitude captivates my senses and leaves me to dream again.
Knowing that tomorrow's harvest moon will give way to another vintage year for the tide off the coast of California. There's definitely something to be said about wine. But until we wait and meet again and again.
Like all good things...
Let's let the fine wine, time, you and I age until exactly the right moment. Where the fullest expression captures what the river changed within us, just enough so we could come away beyond the sea and under la misma luna. Then you'll see me and la paz dancing together.