How To Reappear Incompletely

And so, what now?

Which road do we choose to walk on? When the sun rises and I no longer enjoy the sight of my shadow. The thought of consuming and this never ending thirst for various desires brings me to a bridge leading nowhere. I have shared love, or what I thought was love.

I tend to perceive the love that I think I need. Only to discover that the reality is much more simpler. I just want love. I don't particularly need it. This offsets my preconditioned great expectations of time, circumstance, and words that are inevitably lost within the misframed perception.

Against the rails and pain unheard by the inner ear. My love for you is gone, and I still try to make you reappear.

I continue to think about and realize how much I didn't actively listen to strong implicit communication. The current stream of thoughts translates to how I listen retroactively to a present tense that no longer exists.

I feel that I may have repressed moments where I heard something from my past ex that I didn't want to hear. So I showed it down deep, only for it to finally resurface. And now that it's resurfaced, I try and replace the resurfaced emotions without facing them. But once the lessons have been extrapolated into the present (future moment that is now), I am here alone to process it.

So then the love is gone. But I conjure up the feeling and moment of the past so it can reappear. All this to be a little better than before. To understand and listen clearly, to move through the fog and cloud of yesterday and into the pendulum of our present day interactions with one another. Without expectation. Without judgement. Just another fancy way of saying "enjoy the moment". More or less.