Fucking China

Where do I begin?
A business closed
Reimagined love appears
In another one's clothes
I write out loud the thoughts
I am the victim of my own crime
Cheating causing lies
For two months I held inside
Pain and knives
Menace to my own mind
Can't escape to 28
Have to find a way to delight in yesterday's Meringue
The concept of a country side living in lies
Dying in a busy line
Full of ugly people looking for meat from market to feed their dead lives
The behind the scenes of naked truth surmised
An epicenter of nothing representative of ideal
A snowball effect from December into a dream of American real
The couple breaks in two
From a year of living by the rules
Of what seemed to appear distant from the mirror
But as soon as we see the zoom
A conference glass wall looms
Over in the corner of our bedroom
Killing us deep inside all too soon
Quiet lines of behavior goes unnoticed
Language lost into translated words without meaning
Pianos playing without notes for the arguments defeating
And beating our love out of our chests
To never return to yesterday
While smoke casually constrains even the second best
Lies damn lies and statistics in the daily
Pods TVs Social Media rinsed my thoughts down a drain of maybes
Maybe consider that what you really want is irrelevant
From the intricate story and gambling plot
Maybe there is no love
And there is nothing in the boiling pot
Of passion that will fade
Maybe there is nothing after all
Even with the change
So yeah...2020 may be the worst year
Wuhan and all of China is to blame
Fucking China
For all your schemes, plans, and lies to continue to play this game
FINDING MYSELF FINDING MYSELF FINDING MYSELF
And a little lockdown to dwell in yourself
What to do
When all you have is your self, when the road of happiness dries in pursuit
Blow the brain and lose your shot
Forget the girl and she'll forget you exist - piety in sin caught
Reimagine a world without a pandemic - pure bliss
It won't help the pain inside that continually sits
Blast your brain with dopamine and run out of your own shit
What is a human being to do after all is naught
Where can they find God
Fucking China
Doesn't believe in a God
Nature exists and chance occurs
Don't depend on luck
Find the water and keep writing
Until the pen runs out of ink
Tell yourself don't stop to think
About what could have been
She won't ever respond
And that is okay
To live without her in the end
No one is here to save you
And you are not going to save anyone
Love and tell the truth
Even if it hurts the one
Cry and reimagine a love worth fighting for
A love that will fight for you
Even in a fucking pandemic....

Fucking China